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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Tag Archives: Twilight

The Real Lives of Popular Fictional Character’s Names

Have you ever thought about what it must be like to have the legal name Marty McFly or Edward Cullen or even Juno McGuff? No? Well wonder no more! Network TV has been pulling quality shows off the air and making way for what Americans really want to see: reality TV.

Coming this fall you’ll get a glimpse into the real life of Harry Potter: painter. Each episode follows the life of a normal person with the unfortunate pleasure of sharing a name with a fictional character that is far more popular than the original namesake. How does Betty Boop spend her days? Find out next week.

The Real Lives of Popular Fictional Character’s Names is the sure fire hit you won’t be able to talk about because you won’t be able to not talk about it. It is just that good. Also, confusing.


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That Guy

Jon was a guy of vast interests  but none more important to him than tearing down pop culture. Don’t get the wrong idea, he isn’t a critic or anything, he’s just very critical. He once did a ten minute rant outside AMC Theatres of how Cars is Doc Hollywood but animated. He isn’t wrong, really think of those movies and they are almost shot for shot the same film but he just couldn’t appreciate the forrest for the trees. It didn’t matter that one was clearly made for children and the other one was animated (hey-oh!). It got so bad that he lost most of his friends. Jon started taking out his popular culture ideals on strangers. He would write letters to the editor, which for reasons no reader could comprehend would get published. That is until one day he tried to take down the wrong movie inciting a war between those who loved Twilight and everyone else in the world.

That Guy is the story of how one guy would do anything, consequences be damned, to have his opinion be heard. Will Jon make it out alive when he gets confronted by a room full of tweens? Will he be forced to watch the entire Twilight Saga to keep his life? Along the way of self-congratulatory bull shit, will Jon actual learn that everyone is entitled to their own opinion? SPOILER ALERT: no.

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