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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Tag Archives: Time Travel

Prohibition Smohibition

I first started traveling through history to learn about other cultures and times and really remember just how much better I am than everyone else. I mean, I live in the time of jet packs and TIME TRAVEL!! It’s great that you built an airplane and all but get back to me when that plane flies through dimensions. So when my TTM (Time Traveling Machine) broke down in the 1920’s I thought it can’t be that bad. I could hang out in some jazz bars and go home with a few flappers until I could get my TTM fixed. Did you know there was a time where alcohol was outlawed?!?! What the what? Why would anyone want to ban booze?

Prohibition Smohibition is the story of one time traveling man who got stuck in history without his trusty friends Jack, Jose and Jimmy. Can he make it out alive? Will he learn a lesson before the stock market crashes?

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200 Days of Blogging (Mostly) For Your Enjoyment

It has been 200 days, faithful readers. Yeah, I’ll admit it- I didn’t think it would last this long either but here we are. So as any good blog should do, instead of writing new material I’m just going to give you a chance to read all the other GREAT posts and yeah, the fairly terrible ones too. Enjoy! or don’t! but do! cause there are a lot of posts about robots and dinosaurs.

  1. ALWAYS PRE-APPROVED, NEVER APPROVED.
  2. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, ALIENS DON’T UNDERSTAND MATH: THE PUTTY STORY
  3. ABE LINCOLN: HERO OR HAT ENTHUSIAST?
  4. HUZZAH!
  5. MAMBO IS FOR MURDER
  6. SUBURBAN PNEUMONIA
  7. MY YEAR WITH WHITESNAKE
  8. MY LIFE: A NEW MUSICAL: IN THE KEY OF AWESOME
  9. VHS STORY
  10. ALEX TREBEC? MORE LIKE ALEX TREDOUCHE.
  11. MICHELL’ KELLER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY
  12. IS VIOLENCE WRONG IF IT IS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED?
  13. WINNING, DUH.
  14. SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS
  15. (WHITE) ((FEMALE)) RAPPER’S LAMENT*
  16. BALD EAGLE SPEAKS OUT IN SUPPORT OF GAY MARRIAGE DURING FREEDOM WEEK AT GEORGE H.W. BUSH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
  17. BIT MITTLER: FABULIST
  18. THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC: A FIRST HAND ACCOUNT OF THE HORRORS OF LIVING BY A SINGING HILL
  19. THE CANDY MAN CAN’T
  20. EITHER MY APARTMENT IS HAUNTED OR I’M TOTALLY STONED
  21. THE SLIGHTLY LESS CURIOUS CASE OF REVERSE BEN BUTTONISM
  22. OVARIES BEFORE BROVARIES
  23. YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT WE’RE IN A FIGHT: TALES FROM YOUR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FRIEND
  24. EGGCELENT: PETER COTTONTAIL’S FIRST EASTER
  25. WHY DON’T WE DO IT IN THE ROAD? …I CAN THINK OF ABOUT 1000 REASONS WHY NOT.
  26. IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE: A THESIS ON THE PERILS OF MEANINGLESS CHOICES AND JUST HOW MUCH INFLUENCES THESE CHOICES HAVE ON OUR MORAL DEVELOPMENT
  27. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!… AND OTHER REASONS NOT-AMERICA HATES AMERICA
  28. PRESENT ME WANTS TO SLAP FUTURE YOU
  29. THE ROYAL WEDDING: AMERICA EDITION
  30. WE BOTH LIVE HERE AND I’M DOING ALL THE WORK: AN OPEN LETTER TO MY CAT
  31. MY ALLERGIES ARE TRYING TO KILL ME…AND NOT SOFTLY.
  32. TALES FROM A DEPRESSED, ANTHROPOMORPHIZED HIPPO
  33. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY…
  34. MOBSTERS OF FOLK: DANGEROUSLY CHILL
  35. JANET: UPSIDE-DOWN
  36. WOULD IT BE WEIRD IF I WANTED TO STEAL THAT KID AND RAISE HIM AS MY OWN? …AND OTHER REASONS I’M SUPPRESSING MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.
  37. SANTA CLAUS
  38. MAMA WHO BORE ME
  39. A DAY WITH MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
  40. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A STUPID QUESTION.
  41. DON’T PANIC
  42. WRITERS BLOCK
  43. MRS. BIGGINS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST NECROPHILIA THROUGH VAMPIRE OBSESSION.
  44. ATTACK OF THE KILLER BOREDOM
  45. BRIDESMAIDS
  46. WHO YA GONNA CALL? …MY MOM!
  47. MAKE LIKE A TREE AND GET OUT OF HERE: THE BIFF TANNEN STORY.
  48. THE FIVE YEAR EPIPHANY
  49. GLITCH IN THE MATRIX: PREGNANT EDITION
  50. NON-CONFRONTATIONAL MAN
  51. I CAN DO THAT!
  52. ONE BUG’S LIFE
  53. THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.
  54. IF I HAD $1,000,000…
  55. NOT PATRICK SWAYZE
  56. 99 PROBLEMS: THE RAY-Z STORY
  57. SAVED BY THE BELL: THE MIDDLE AGED YEARS
  58. IS IT CONSIDERED MURDER IF I GO BACK IN TIME AND KEEP YOU FROM  BEING BORN? (ASKING FOR A FRIEND)
  59. FRANKLIN THE FEATHER
  60. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY
  61. SGFSWAGASJAMLI: SUPPORT GROUP FOR SUPERHERO WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS AND SOMETIMES JUST A MINOR LOVE INTEREST
  62. HOMEWARD BOUND: THE INCREDIBLE MUSICAL JOURNEY
  63. WILL YOU GO PEE FOR ME?
  64. THE END OF THE BEGINNING.
  65. 10,000 NIGHTS: A LIGHTNING’S LOVE LETTER TO THUNDER
  66. ADULTERY AND BASTARD CHILDREN: AN AMERICAN PASTIME
  67. THE WIZARD OF ODD
  68. AN OPEN LOVE LETTER TO FOX NEWS FROM THE SIDE OF ME THAT LOVES WATCHING YOU FAIL
  69. E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS
  70. COME BACK TO TEXAS: NBA FINALS EDITION
  71. THE PERFECT SPACE*
  72. ANNIE 2: LOST IN LONDON
  73. ELMO AFTER DARK: YOU! ME! DANCING!
  74. THE MANY ANNOYANCES OF CALLIOPE JONES
  75. IF MY HEART WERE A HOUSE, YOU’D BE HOME
  76. MAD LIBS: Rejected Book Plot Edition
  77. WALKING IN LOS ANGELES
  78. SUMMER OF 2169
  79. Un-normal
  80. YOU CAN’T SPELL FATHER WITHOUT HAT…IF YOU REARRANGE THE LETTERS…
  81. THE OFTEN UNIQUE AND RARELY EFFECTIVE TEACHINGS OF MR. JONES
  82. BRAD AND JANET GO TO COUPLES THERAPY: SESSION 1
  83. THE ADVENTURES OF SPEEDY THE SECOND AND GLADYS THE IPOD
  84. GRANDMA AND GRANDPA GIVE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN CONFUSING ADVICE THROUGH OLD TIMEY SONGS
  85. WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND
  86. STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
  87. FRANKENSTEIN GOES TO THE PROM
  88. TWICE
  89. WOLVERINE BOY
  90. STUTTER ISLAND
  91. THE GIRL WITH THE OVERDRAFT BANK ACCOUNT
  92. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE: JULY, JULY!
  93. CHRISTOPHER ROBIN EXPLAINS THE RECESSION TO EVERYONE IN THE HUNDRED ACRE WOODS
  94. LOST: OCEANIC FLIGHT 815: THE ORIGIN STORY
  95. THOMAS JEFFERSON’S WIFE LECTURES HIM FOR HAVING SMALL HANDWRITING
  96. Gay Marriage Will Lead To Classic Songs Being Re-imagined For Same Gender Affections: A Republican’s Fear
  97. DIM DEMOLISHING DEXTER
  98. THE ARIZONA HABOOB DEFENDS ITSELF TO ANGRY COMMUNITIES
  99. SHE-HULK: PMS EDITION
  100. REJECTED BOOK PLOTS: THE CLIP SHOW EDITION
  101. BILLY THE COMEBACK KID
  102. MONDAY MORNING
  103. SAM BEGS TO BE TAKEN HOME: A MODERN LOVE STORY
  104. BEETLEJUICE ORIGINS: BARBARA AND ADAM MAITLAND
  105. TV’S SADDEST AND/OR MOST SHOCKING DEATHS VOL. 1
  106. BATMAN: THE MUSICAL!
  107. O SISTER, WHERE ART THOU?
  108. USA VS JAPAN: SOCCER EDITION
  109. NOTHING EVER HAPPENS ON MARS 2
  110. MURDER ON THE 3RD FLOOR
  111. REFLECTION DAY
  112. ALBERT’S ABYSS
  113. THE NEVER NEVERENDING STORY
  114. THE BALLAD OF LOVE AND HATE
  115. IN ANOTHER LIFE, WHEN WE’RE BOTH CATS
  116. FOREVER 27 CLUB
  117. THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED…
  118. KISS QUICK: THE UNTOLD AURORA TALE
  119. YEAH, I’M IN LOVE WITH AN ANDROID
  120. LIKE A BOSS
  121. LOOK WHO’S TALKING…AGAIN
  122. WEED CARD
  123. SWEET VALLEY HAPPY DAYS
  124. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: YOUNGER EDITION
  125. NO!
  126. ANGELS IN THE BACKCOURT
  127. PETER PAN THEORY: AND OTHER WAYS TO NEVER GROW UP
  128. YOU AND ME: THE PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE STORY
  129. JOSEPHINE: MY TRANSGENDERED NEIGHBOR
  130. SKINNY LOVE: CONFESSIONS OF AN OVERWEIGHT DRAMA QUEEN
  131. MY GRANDMOTHER, THE RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC, WATCHING AN EPISODE OF CHEERS
  132. THEME SONGS FOR SPIN-OFF CHARACTERS FROM ENSEMBLE SHOWS VOL. 1
  133. DANCE ‘TILL THE MORNING LIGHT
  134. MY INAPPROPRIATE LOVE LETTER TO ZACH BRAFF
  135. I’m going to be honest with you dearest internet, this is how my apartment looks at the moment
  136. MY BMF IS WAY BETTER THAN YOUR BFF: BIRTHDAY EDITION
  137. COCOON 3: DIRTY DANCING EDITION
  138. DON’T PANIC: UP IN THE AIR EDITION
  139. GOB: Life After Arrested Development
  140. KICK DRUM HEART
  141. AN OPEN LETTER TO JOEY POTTER SEASON ONE: BE LESS RUDE
  142. FREE WILLY 4: EUTHANASIA EDITION
  143. ROBOT PARADE
  144. HELLO, SUNSHINE
  145. KING OF THE WORLD
  146. NEW YORK I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU’RE BRINGING ME DOWN
  147. I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG
  148. OVERPOPULATION, UNDER-ORGAN GROWTH
  149. HUMPTY DUMPTY: THE WONDER YEARS
  150. CRUSH(ED)
  151. YOU CALL THAT A HURRICANE? 
  152. THE HUNGRY GAMES
  153. PEN PALS
  154. BUDDY HOLLY, I LOVE YOU
  155. TWO DOLLARS
  156. FREE COFFEE TOWN
  157. HOLDEN
  158. LABOR DAY
  159. OWL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
  160. BACK TO THE NINTENDO
  161. THAT GUY
  162. KERMIT GOES TO THE DOCTOR
  163. DEARLY DEVIOUS DEX DEVOURS DAVID
  164. NEVER FORGET
  165. DEBBIE DOWNER GOES TO CHRISTMAS DINNER
  166. GOOD MORNING, COFFEE POT
  167. ENTOURAGE: THE FINAL FINALITY UNTIL THE INEVITABLE MOVIE: TURTLE EDITION
  168. NO SLEEP FOR YOU! TALES FROM THE SOUP NAZI’S BROTHER: SLEEP NAZI
  169. ROBOTS NEED LOVE TOO
  170. KAREN OR THE GIRL WHO WOULD ALWAYS COMPARE HER PEE TIMES TO MOVIES
  171. TIME’S UP
  172. LAST CHANCE
  173. LET’S GO TO THE MALL: BLACK FRIDAY EDITION
  174. DEAR PRUDENCE: THE FIRST DRAFT
  175. JUNO: THE ORIGINAL TEEN MOM (BUT LIKE AN IRONIC VERSION)
  176. HOTEL NÚMERO UNO
  177. MR. HOPE: THE ANXIETY FILLED HIPPO
  178. THE INDIE QUEENS ARE WAITING
  179. EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE 2: STILL LOUD. STILL CLOSE.
  180. JURASSIC PARK 4: EVERYTHING IS COOL NOW, I SWEARZIES
  181. MAD (WO)MAN
  182. A LESS HEARTBREAKING WORK OF EXAGGERATED GENIUS
  183. FOREVER COLLEGE
  184. SAY ANYTHING 2
  185. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: VOLUME 1
  186. PAN AM
  187. THE ENLIGHTENED
  188. RIP PLAYBOY CLUB
  189. ISAD
  190. GEORGE THE GEICO GECKO
  191. THE GIVING TREE GOES TO HAPPY HOUR, HAS ONE TOO MANY AND LET’S THE OTHER TREES KNOW WHAT’S ON HIS MIND
  192. THERE’S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND
  193. FEMALES: THE ORIGINAL WEREWOLVES
  194. MEET THE HANKS’
  195. COMFORTABLE SILENCE
  196. DEXTER: THE CHILDREN’S BOOK
  197. THE SADNESS PARADOX
  198. THE (NOT SO) LITTLE RASCALS
  199. A PACK OF LIONS WATCH THE LION KING 3D ONLY TO REALIZE HOW UNREALISTIC IT IS… IN 2D

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Back to the Nintendo

He was never in time for his classes…

He was never in time for his dinner…

Then one day… he wasn’t in his time at all.

In the future, before you can be allowed to time travel you have to prove you are responsible and won’t cause ripples in the time-space continuum. Jake had always dreamt of hopping in a DeLorean and seeing whether or not hover-boards can ever work on water without power. He knew he would have to pass the greatest test of all: beating the ancient video game Back to the Future Part II and III on some system called Nintendo. No one had played a video game with their hands in three decades so this test seemed not only outdated but unnecessary.

Not wanting to fail, Jake stole his own time machine to go back to 1990 to get his hands on this so called Nintendo so he could practice. Will Jake get stuck in the past? When he gets to 1990, will Jake have a spare pair of acid-washed jeans or will those have hopefully been outlawed in the future? When he parks his DeLorean on the side of the road and it gets recognized from the movies, will Jake forget the rules of time travel and get in the newspaper as a human interest story only to have that be the thing that gets him caught in his present?

Back to the Nintendo is the story of how Back to the Future can really be a real thing.


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Buddy Holly, I Love You

In the not so distant future, in a land much like your own, a young woman spends her days in the lab trying to invent a cost-efficient form of time travel. Time travel has, of course, been around for decades but only the unbelievably wealthy have been able to afford its luxury. So each day she comes in the lab, puts on her favorite Buddy Holly record and works tirelessly until the day is through and comes back the next day to do it all again. It has been six years that she has devoted to this project with little success. The only thing she takes comfort in is Rave On. In fact, she has played it so many times once a month she has to buy a new record of it. As she works, she lets the words of Buddy’s music wash over her and keep her motivated and hopeful for a future where she can be loved. She starts to imagine what it would have been like to live in the era of Buddy Holly. She has become certain she could make him forget all about that pesky Peggy Sue. It then hits her: if she perfects time travel she can be with Buddy, save him from getting on the plane and there will never be a day the music dies.

Buddy Holly, I Love You is a story of just how far one scientist will go to find true love. Can she stop Buddy from getting on the fateful plane? Will the effects of this one action alter history forever? If we learned anything from The Time Traveler’s Wife it is that no matter how much you can like Rachel McAdams, she still can’t save a movie who’s adaptation is subpar. If we have learned two things it is that drinking before that movie makes the complicated and unrealistic story line even harder to comprehend.

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Is it considered murder if I go back in time and keep you from  being born? (asking for a friend)


Boys will be boys and Stewart and Richard were no different. These brothers fought about everything: girls, who gets the shower first, the last Pop Tart and every time Richard would win because he was the eldest and was much stronger. What Stewart lacked in size he made up for in intelligence. From an early age Stewart had his nose in a book learning everything he could about science and physics. This did nothing to help get his brother to leave him alone. One day Stewart snapped, he got it in his mind that if Richard was never born his life would be better. He would get the girls, hot shower and last cinnamon Pop Tart. He knew what he had to do, build a time machine and keep his brother from being conceived.

What Stewart didn’t count on was the ripple in the space-time continuum changing the past would cause. Inadvertently he had created a new world. Everything was the way it was only different. As he predicted, his life was better but his parents were sad. It was as though they knew something was missing they just didn’t know what. Could Stewart save his parents marriage? If he went back in time to stop himself from going back in time would everything be fixed? He knew while it meant giving up being happy it also meant making the ones he loves happy. Whose happiness was more important?

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