Skip to content

Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Tag Archives: Future

200 Days of Blogging (Mostly) For Your Enjoyment

It has been 200 days, faithful readers. Yeah, I’ll admit it- I didn’t think it would last this long either but here we are. So as any good blog should do, instead of writing new material I’m just going to give you a chance to read all the other GREAT posts and yeah, the fairly terrible ones too. Enjoy! or don’t! but do! cause there are a lot of posts about robots and dinosaurs.

  1. ALWAYS PRE-APPROVED, NEVER APPROVED.
  2. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, ALIENS DON’T UNDERSTAND MATH: THE PUTTY STORY
  3. ABE LINCOLN: HERO OR HAT ENTHUSIAST?
  4. HUZZAH!
  5. MAMBO IS FOR MURDER
  6. SUBURBAN PNEUMONIA
  7. MY YEAR WITH WHITESNAKE
  8. MY LIFE: A NEW MUSICAL: IN THE KEY OF AWESOME
  9. VHS STORY
  10. ALEX TREBEC? MORE LIKE ALEX TREDOUCHE.
  11. MICHELL’ KELLER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY
  12. IS VIOLENCE WRONG IF IT IS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED?
  13. WINNING, DUH.
  14. SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS
  15. (WHITE) ((FEMALE)) RAPPER’S LAMENT*
  16. BALD EAGLE SPEAKS OUT IN SUPPORT OF GAY MARRIAGE DURING FREEDOM WEEK AT GEORGE H.W. BUSH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
  17. BIT MITTLER: FABULIST
  18. THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC: A FIRST HAND ACCOUNT OF THE HORRORS OF LIVING BY A SINGING HILL
  19. THE CANDY MAN CAN’T
  20. EITHER MY APARTMENT IS HAUNTED OR I’M TOTALLY STONED
  21. THE SLIGHTLY LESS CURIOUS CASE OF REVERSE BEN BUTTONISM
  22. OVARIES BEFORE BROVARIES
  23. YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT WE’RE IN A FIGHT: TALES FROM YOUR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FRIEND
  24. EGGCELENT: PETER COTTONTAIL’S FIRST EASTER
  25. WHY DON’T WE DO IT IN THE ROAD? …I CAN THINK OF ABOUT 1000 REASONS WHY NOT.
  26. IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE: A THESIS ON THE PERILS OF MEANINGLESS CHOICES AND JUST HOW MUCH INFLUENCES THESE CHOICES HAVE ON OUR MORAL DEVELOPMENT
  27. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!… AND OTHER REASONS NOT-AMERICA HATES AMERICA
  28. PRESENT ME WANTS TO SLAP FUTURE YOU
  29. THE ROYAL WEDDING: AMERICA EDITION
  30. WE BOTH LIVE HERE AND I’M DOING ALL THE WORK: AN OPEN LETTER TO MY CAT
  31. MY ALLERGIES ARE TRYING TO KILL ME…AND NOT SOFTLY.
  32. TALES FROM A DEPRESSED, ANTHROPOMORPHIZED HIPPO
  33. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY…
  34. MOBSTERS OF FOLK: DANGEROUSLY CHILL
  35. JANET: UPSIDE-DOWN
  36. WOULD IT BE WEIRD IF I WANTED TO STEAL THAT KID AND RAISE HIM AS MY OWN? …AND OTHER REASONS I’M SUPPRESSING MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.
  37. SANTA CLAUS
  38. MAMA WHO BORE ME
  39. A DAY WITH MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
  40. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A STUPID QUESTION.
  41. DON’T PANIC
  42. WRITERS BLOCK
  43. MRS. BIGGINS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST NECROPHILIA THROUGH VAMPIRE OBSESSION.
  44. ATTACK OF THE KILLER BOREDOM
  45. BRIDESMAIDS
  46. WHO YA GONNA CALL? …MY MOM!
  47. MAKE LIKE A TREE AND GET OUT OF HERE: THE BIFF TANNEN STORY.
  48. THE FIVE YEAR EPIPHANY
  49. GLITCH IN THE MATRIX: PREGNANT EDITION
  50. NON-CONFRONTATIONAL MAN
  51. I CAN DO THAT!
  52. ONE BUG’S LIFE
  53. THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.
  54. IF I HAD $1,000,000…
  55. NOT PATRICK SWAYZE
  56. 99 PROBLEMS: THE RAY-Z STORY
  57. SAVED BY THE BELL: THE MIDDLE AGED YEARS
  58. IS IT CONSIDERED MURDER IF I GO BACK IN TIME AND KEEP YOU FROM  BEING BORN? (ASKING FOR A FRIEND)
  59. FRANKLIN THE FEATHER
  60. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY
  61. SGFSWAGASJAMLI: SUPPORT GROUP FOR SUPERHERO WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS AND SOMETIMES JUST A MINOR LOVE INTEREST
  62. HOMEWARD BOUND: THE INCREDIBLE MUSICAL JOURNEY
  63. WILL YOU GO PEE FOR ME?
  64. THE END OF THE BEGINNING.
  65. 10,000 NIGHTS: A LIGHTNING’S LOVE LETTER TO THUNDER
  66. ADULTERY AND BASTARD CHILDREN: AN AMERICAN PASTIME
  67. THE WIZARD OF ODD
  68. AN OPEN LOVE LETTER TO FOX NEWS FROM THE SIDE OF ME THAT LOVES WATCHING YOU FAIL
  69. E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY: THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS
  70. COME BACK TO TEXAS: NBA FINALS EDITION
  71. THE PERFECT SPACE*
  72. ANNIE 2: LOST IN LONDON
  73. ELMO AFTER DARK: YOU! ME! DANCING!
  74. THE MANY ANNOYANCES OF CALLIOPE JONES
  75. IF MY HEART WERE A HOUSE, YOU’D BE HOME
  76. MAD LIBS: Rejected Book Plot Edition
  77. WALKING IN LOS ANGELES
  78. SUMMER OF 2169
  79. Un-normal
  80. YOU CAN’T SPELL FATHER WITHOUT HAT…IF YOU REARRANGE THE LETTERS…
  81. THE OFTEN UNIQUE AND RARELY EFFECTIVE TEACHINGS OF MR. JONES
  82. BRAD AND JANET GO TO COUPLES THERAPY: SESSION 1
  83. THE ADVENTURES OF SPEEDY THE SECOND AND GLADYS THE IPOD
  84. GRANDMA AND GRANDPA GIVE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN CONFUSING ADVICE THROUGH OLD TIMEY SONGS
  85. WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND
  86. STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
  87. FRANKENSTEIN GOES TO THE PROM
  88. TWICE
  89. WOLVERINE BOY
  90. STUTTER ISLAND
  91. THE GIRL WITH THE OVERDRAFT BANK ACCOUNT
  92. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE: JULY, JULY!
  93. CHRISTOPHER ROBIN EXPLAINS THE RECESSION TO EVERYONE IN THE HUNDRED ACRE WOODS
  94. LOST: OCEANIC FLIGHT 815: THE ORIGIN STORY
  95. THOMAS JEFFERSON’S WIFE LECTURES HIM FOR HAVING SMALL HANDWRITING
  96. Gay Marriage Will Lead To Classic Songs Being Re-imagined For Same Gender Affections: A Republican’s Fear
  97. DIM DEMOLISHING DEXTER
  98. THE ARIZONA HABOOB DEFENDS ITSELF TO ANGRY COMMUNITIES
  99. SHE-HULK: PMS EDITION
  100. REJECTED BOOK PLOTS: THE CLIP SHOW EDITION
  101. BILLY THE COMEBACK KID
  102. MONDAY MORNING
  103. SAM BEGS TO BE TAKEN HOME: A MODERN LOVE STORY
  104. BEETLEJUICE ORIGINS: BARBARA AND ADAM MAITLAND
  105. TV’S SADDEST AND/OR MOST SHOCKING DEATHS VOL. 1
  106. BATMAN: THE MUSICAL!
  107. O SISTER, WHERE ART THOU?
  108. USA VS JAPAN: SOCCER EDITION
  109. NOTHING EVER HAPPENS ON MARS 2
  110. MURDER ON THE 3RD FLOOR
  111. REFLECTION DAY
  112. ALBERT’S ABYSS
  113. THE NEVER NEVERENDING STORY
  114. THE BALLAD OF LOVE AND HATE
  115. IN ANOTHER LIFE, WHEN WE’RE BOTH CATS
  116. FOREVER 27 CLUB
  117. THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED…
  118. KISS QUICK: THE UNTOLD AURORA TALE
  119. YEAH, I’M IN LOVE WITH AN ANDROID
  120. LIKE A BOSS
  121. LOOK WHO’S TALKING…AGAIN
  122. WEED CARD
  123. SWEET VALLEY HAPPY DAYS
  124. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: YOUNGER EDITION
  125. NO!
  126. ANGELS IN THE BACKCOURT
  127. PETER PAN THEORY: AND OTHER WAYS TO NEVER GROW UP
  128. YOU AND ME: THE PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE STORY
  129. JOSEPHINE: MY TRANSGENDERED NEIGHBOR
  130. SKINNY LOVE: CONFESSIONS OF AN OVERWEIGHT DRAMA QUEEN
  131. MY GRANDMOTHER, THE RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC, WATCHING AN EPISODE OF CHEERS
  132. THEME SONGS FOR SPIN-OFF CHARACTERS FROM ENSEMBLE SHOWS VOL. 1
  133. DANCE ‘TILL THE MORNING LIGHT
  134. MY INAPPROPRIATE LOVE LETTER TO ZACH BRAFF
  135. I’m going to be honest with you dearest internet, this is how my apartment looks at the moment
  136. MY BMF IS WAY BETTER THAN YOUR BFF: BIRTHDAY EDITION
  137. COCOON 3: DIRTY DANCING EDITION
  138. DON’T PANIC: UP IN THE AIR EDITION
  139. GOB: Life After Arrested Development
  140. KICK DRUM HEART
  141. AN OPEN LETTER TO JOEY POTTER SEASON ONE: BE LESS RUDE
  142. FREE WILLY 4: EUTHANASIA EDITION
  143. ROBOT PARADE
  144. HELLO, SUNSHINE
  145. KING OF THE WORLD
  146. NEW YORK I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU’RE BRINGING ME DOWN
  147. I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG
  148. OVERPOPULATION, UNDER-ORGAN GROWTH
  149. HUMPTY DUMPTY: THE WONDER YEARS
  150. CRUSH(ED)
  151. YOU CALL THAT A HURRICANE? 
  152. THE HUNGRY GAMES
  153. PEN PALS
  154. BUDDY HOLLY, I LOVE YOU
  155. TWO DOLLARS
  156. FREE COFFEE TOWN
  157. HOLDEN
  158. LABOR DAY
  159. OWL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
  160. BACK TO THE NINTENDO
  161. THAT GUY
  162. KERMIT GOES TO THE DOCTOR
  163. DEARLY DEVIOUS DEX DEVOURS DAVID
  164. NEVER FORGET
  165. DEBBIE DOWNER GOES TO CHRISTMAS DINNER
  166. GOOD MORNING, COFFEE POT
  167. ENTOURAGE: THE FINAL FINALITY UNTIL THE INEVITABLE MOVIE: TURTLE EDITION
  168. NO SLEEP FOR YOU! TALES FROM THE SOUP NAZI’S BROTHER: SLEEP NAZI
  169. ROBOTS NEED LOVE TOO
  170. KAREN OR THE GIRL WHO WOULD ALWAYS COMPARE HER PEE TIMES TO MOVIES
  171. TIME’S UP
  172. LAST CHANCE
  173. LET’S GO TO THE MALL: BLACK FRIDAY EDITION
  174. DEAR PRUDENCE: THE FIRST DRAFT
  175. JUNO: THE ORIGINAL TEEN MOM (BUT LIKE AN IRONIC VERSION)
  176. HOTEL NÚMERO UNO
  177. MR. HOPE: THE ANXIETY FILLED HIPPO
  178. THE INDIE QUEENS ARE WAITING
  179. EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE 2: STILL LOUD. STILL CLOSE.
  180. JURASSIC PARK 4: EVERYTHING IS COOL NOW, I SWEARZIES
  181. MAD (WO)MAN
  182. A LESS HEARTBREAKING WORK OF EXAGGERATED GENIUS
  183. FOREVER COLLEGE
  184. SAY ANYTHING 2
  185. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: VOLUME 1
  186. PAN AM
  187. THE ENLIGHTENED
  188. RIP PLAYBOY CLUB
  189. ISAD
  190. GEORGE THE GEICO GECKO
  191. THE GIVING TREE GOES TO HAPPY HOUR, HAS ONE TOO MANY AND LET’S THE OTHER TREES KNOW WHAT’S ON HIS MIND
  192. THERE’S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND
  193. FEMALES: THE ORIGINAL WEREWOLVES
  194. MEET THE HANKS’
  195. COMFORTABLE SILENCE
  196. DEXTER: THE CHILDREN’S BOOK
  197. THE SADNESS PARADOX
  198. THE (NOT SO) LITTLE RASCALS
  199. A PACK OF LIONS WATCH THE LION KING 3D ONLY TO REALIZE HOW UNREALISTIC IT IS… IN 2D
Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Time’s Up

Everything in life comes equipped with a clock. A clock that counts down to the end of your life. Nothing can slow the clock. Nothing can speed up the clock. The clock is preset and when it goes off that’s it- the clock moves onto another person. Well, that’s how the clock used to work…

Johnny Bishop is the first man in history to figure out how to live without the clock. People since the beginning of time have tried to find a way to live without it. Finally, the mystery has been cracked but not everyone wants to see the secret to eternal life on the open market. The Time Keepers have been responsible with guarding the secret and now have to get it back before it’s too late (they are Time Keepers, technically they can never be too late but Science Fiction has no place for technicalities). However, everyone whose clock is still ticking is dying (pun intended) to get theirs to stop. Now, the world is after Johnny.

Time’s Up is a thrilling tale of one man who unlocked the secret to life but just might not live long enough to share it.

Tags: , , ,

Overpopulation, Under-Organ Growth

The future is a bleak place, humans figured out how to live longer therefore disrupting the natural order of the universe and overpopulation became a serious problem. The thing history books never taught you (likely, because they didn’t know) was that the universe only creates so many souls, hearts, livers, intestines and so 0n. It really is the epitome of recycling and a beautiful thing in nature, except when people won’t die to give up their hold on their organs- then it become chaos. That is when The Man comes in, for the right price these guys will steal the organs you need.

When Marco’s girlfriend breaks up with him he contacts The Man to get his girlfriend a heart so she can love him back. He does everything he can to procure the funds for The Man before time runs out. Will Marco’s shady uncle lend him the money? Will the price be too much? Why is Jude Law in this flick? It really feels like more of a Vin Diesel type of gig…

Overpopulation, Under-Organ Growth is a high risk, high reward thriller with Jude Law and Dwayne “The Tooth-fairy Rock” Johnson. A tale that will have you on the edge of your seat fearing for your own organ’s safety. A blink and you miss it action-packed story. This movie will be worse than Repo Man and if Rotten Tomatoes has anything to say about it, that’s really hard to do.

Tags: , , , ,

Present Me Wants To Slap Future You

I can’t wait for the future. I know, I know, you should always be living in the present but I am sure in the future there will be a way for me to slap you through the phone. Sure, we’ll be old and grey and you won’t even remember what day it is but then it will happen. You will be minding your own business and the phone will ring, you’ll answer it in your old, cranky, early bird special loving voice and it will happen. The ultimate slap, the earth will move and I will finally exact my revenge on you. Just as you are dropping to your knees and screaming WHYYYYYYY?!? A hologram of present me will appear and simply say “You know why”.

It won’t matter if you remember why or not. It won’t even matter if I remember why, the point is I need this. Present me needs this. Then with all the technology in the future, this version of me will high-five future me and we will know we did it.

Remember, Remember the 28th of Aprilvember.

Tags: , , , , ,