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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Tag Archives: Cougar Town

I Can’t Believe It Either, But It’s Been A Year Or I Did It, How Do You Like Them Apples?

One year ago I thought it might be fun to start a blog where I wrote terrible ideas for books and movies and TV shows and really anything that popped into my head every single day for a year. Yes, I had just watched Julie and Julia and thought it is probably a heck of a lot easier to blog every day than to make every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook. And just like that a blog was born.

I thought at the time that this blog would be a way to escape, to run away from myself, to finally do something from start to finish. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d make it past a few weeks. Like much I do in life, I figured I’d get bored or second guess myself or flat out be too lazy to stick with it but for some odd reason I felt compelled to finish. After awhile I stopped thinking I was writing to run away from myself but realized I was writing to find myself. Yeah, I know how corny that sounds. It’s like this quote I love “One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish” wait that’s not the one it’s “with writing we get second chances”. That’s what this was for me- It was my second chance to do something for the first time: follow through. Now I know not every day was a readable entry but that wasn’t really the point now was it?

So thank you for sticking it out. Thank you for dropping by. Thank you for not posting incredibly disheartening comments forever condeming me to a life devoid of follow through and empty dreams. I’m not leaving this blog forever but I am leaving it for now. It served its purpose.

I’d love to be able to tell you that this was a stepping stone to that novel I have half written on my laptop or the play I have the ending written but nothing else. Truth is, I don’t know what’s next. I do know that there is something, somewhere that will also get finished. Maybe my play will finally get some rising action instead of just a killer finale. Maybe one of my Rejected Book Plots will get flushed out and become an Accepted Book Plot. Maybe I’ll start a new blog called Accepted Book Plots where every day I will tell you the plot of something that has already been published until the authors get mad and shut it down. Or maybe you’ll never see another word written by me again. Maybe you will.

I know this for certain: it has only just begun.


Thanks for the memories! Keep In Touch! Have a nice summer! It was so great having Bio with you! Stay Sweet! I’m the first one to sign in your crack!




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OK, This Is(n’t) The Last Time I’ll Post About Cougar Town…

So I went to the Phoenix viewing party on Thursday night and I still can’t get over how amazing it was. Busy Philipps was there and couldn’t have been nicer. We shot the shit with her for a good ten minutes. She dished about Dawson’s Creek (Turns out Kerr was not all that much a part of the group because he was “super old”) and why she thinks the boxed set of Freaks and Geeks is so darn expensive (Judd put it out on his own dime without the studio’s help and not, as I hypothesized, because everyone in it is crazy famous now). She gave her bracelet to my cousin and then promptly insisted he share it with me, joint custody style. What! What!

The entire experience was amazing. In fact, amazing isn’t enough to describe the awesome, a new word needs to be invented.

The character Busy plays on Cougar Town is named Laurie Keller, so naturally I pulled her aside to tell her that her TV persona and my reality persona share a last name. (She said I was Laurie’s long lost emo sister) ((squeel!)) As we were getting her to sign our memerabilia she let us know that Phoenix has had the weirdest spellings of names out of all the viewing party cities (I was a little afraid to tell her that I spell Michell’ with an apostrophe). However, after a good laugh and a really?!? she signed my CTown season one with a sweet message.


For those of you who have seen the show (and by the end of this I hope it will be all of you) you’ll know that Tom is a character that is trying to fit into the Cul-de-sac crew but they don’t let him in so he always has to creep around. Well Bob Clendenin was also in attedance Thursday and I thought it would be really funny to get a picture with him but instead of having him in the photo (like normal people do with celebrities) try to creep his way in, in true Tom fashion. I asked him if that would be rude and he thought it was hilarious. And as you can see from the photo, it was hilarious. WHY AM I NOT WRITING BITS FOR COUGAR TOWN?!? I already have an entire backstory to Laurie’s long lost emo sister. Anywho, I ended the night by tweeting that photo to one of the creators of Cougar Town (and Scrubs for that matter!!) and he graciously retweeted me. Then a night I didn’t think could get any better, did! That same tweet got passed around and retweeted by not only Bill Lawrence but another creator of the show Kevin Biegel and a little known FRIEND that goes by the name of Courteney Cox. That’s right, Courteney Freaking Cox retweeted a photo of me and my friends to 83,000 people!!


So, please, tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tell your enemies! Cougar Town is back February 14th on ABC! Your life will be better with the Cul-de-sac Crew in it, I guarantee it.


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Watch Cougar Town!!

With a name like Cougar Town you are bound to have an uphill battle but just 8 episodes into the first season it shed its terrible premise and focused on the thing that was working: The Cul-de-sac Crew. From episode 9 on- the show has become the funniest show on TV (just behind Parks and Recreation, that is). WHY AREN’T YOU WATCHING?

ABC has totally screwed this show when it comes to promoting and most importantly, putting it on the air. So creator Bill Lawrence took matters into his own hands and decided to promote season three (premiering Feb. 14th) on his own dime. So he has been hosting viewing parties throughout the US, renting out bars and picking up the tab just to get the word out about his brilliant but criminally under watched show. At these viewing parties you are guaranteed at least one member of the cast and one writer, endless wine, 3 new episodes of the show and a Penny Can tournament. Where else on TV will you see a group of people throwing pennies into cans and turn that into a marketing campaign? No where! The beauty of Cougar Town is I know every three episodes or so will be a new game introduced that I will have to play with my friends. (Quick, Movie Mash-up! Little Girl enters a beauty pageant, cleaning up crime scenes along the way. Answer: Little Miss Sunshine Cleaning)

Promotion has gone so far that the creators of Cougar Town are offering that if you are attending the Super Bowl and hold up a sign with Cougar Town and the start date on ABC and it gets on the air you’ll get flown out to Hollywood and have a speaking role on the show! It makes me wish I liked football.

So the moral of the story is: even if your boss doesn’t believe in you, if you know you’re making quality work- people will follow. So I urge you to tune into ABC on Feb. 14th to see just what the Cul-de-sac Crew is up to. You won’t be disappointed. If you are, send me your info and I’ll send you a dollar. Not a joke. This is how much I believe in the beauty of C-Town.


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An Open Letter To The Entertainment Powers That Be

Dear Entertainment Gods,


Yours in distain,

Michell’ Rae Keller

P.S. Whyyyyyy? (I thought it bared repeating, in a much whinier tone)


*This week the following entertainment set backs occurred in my life:

  1. Community was taken off NBC’s midseason schedule
  2. Negotiations between the owners and the players fell through signifying the chances of the NBA actually having a season even less likely than Cougar Town getting a premier date…speaking of
  3. Cougar Town taken off ABC’s midseason schedule and pushed to who the hell knows when with a shortened season.

You really know how to kick a girl when she’s down, EG.


(EG= Entertainment Gods)


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Theme Songs For Spin-Off Characters From Ensemble Shows Vol. 1

John Locke- Lost

Rescued by Jack’s Mannequin

“‘Cause I’m feeling like I might need to be near you. And I feel alright, so please don’t get me rescued…”

He is clearly speaking to the island. It is the perfect theme song to the spin-off that wasn’t.


Laurie Keller- Cougar Town

Bitch Went Nuts by Ben Folds

This is the perfect spin-off song for Laurie, imagine Dale singing this song.


Barney Stinson- How I Met Your Mother

Girls by The Beastie Boys

With the rest of the gang growing up, Barney still isn’t ready to give up on his attachment-free lifestyle. All he really wants is Girls!


Michael Scott- The Office

Buttmachine by That 1 Guy

There is no way Michael Scott could get through this song without cracking up. Imagine the music video he would create to this song. It would be hard but satisfying. (That’s what she said!)

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