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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Tag Archives: Cat

I Can’t Believe It Either, But It’s Been A Year Or I Did It, How Do You Like Them Apples?

One year ago I thought it might be fun to start a blog where I wrote terrible ideas for books and movies and TV shows and really anything that popped into my head every single day for a year. Yes, I had just watched Julie and Julia and thought it is probably a heck of a lot easier to blog every day than to make every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook. And just like that a blog was born.

I thought at the time that this blog would be a way to escape, to run away from myself, to finally do something from start to finish. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d make it past a few weeks. Like much I do in life, I figured I’d get bored or second guess myself or flat out be too lazy to stick with it but for some odd reason I felt compelled to finish. After awhile I stopped thinking I was writing to run away from myself but realized I was writing to find myself. Yeah, I know how corny that sounds. It’s like this quote I love “One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish” wait that’s not the one it’s “with writing we get second chances”. That’s what this was for me- It was my second chance to do something for the first time: follow through. Now I know not every day was a readable entry but that wasn’t really the point now was it?

So thank you for sticking it out. Thank you for dropping by. Thank you for not posting incredibly disheartening comments forever condeming me to a life devoid of follow through and empty dreams. I’m not leaving this blog forever but I am leaving it for now. It served its purpose.

I’d love to be able to tell you that this was a stepping stone to that novel I have half written on my laptop or the play I have the ending written but nothing else. Truth is, I don’t know what’s next. I do know that there is something, somewhere that will also get finished. Maybe my play will finally get some rising action instead of just a killer finale. Maybe one of my Rejected Book Plots will get flushed out and become an Accepted Book Plot. Maybe I’ll start a new blog called Accepted Book Plots where every day I will tell you the plot of something that has already been published until the authors get mad and shut it down. Or maybe you’ll never see another word written by me again. Maybe you will.

I know this for certain: it has only just begun.

 

Thanks for the memories! Keep In Touch! Have a nice summer! It was so great having Bio with you! Stay Sweet! I’m the first one to sign in your crack!

~Michell’

 

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A Glimpse Into The Future By Analyzing The Past

Have you ever wondered how the Crazy Cat Lady became the Crazy Cat Lady? Janet grew up as a fairly normal lady: she graduated college with honors, had a good job and even bathed regularly. So how does one go from totes normal to totes crazy?

A Glimpse Into The Future By Analyzing The Past is the story of one woman who wakes up one day trying to pinpoint the exact moment the line from having a super adorable kitty to being the neighborhood crazy lady was crossed. Was it the moment she fed her cat some of her chicken off her plate? Was it the day Janet’s glasses slid down her nose and her cat pushed them back up? When did it turn?!? Told in the same vain as A Christmas Carol this is one story you’ll wish would never end. (Cause montages of kittens doing cute things never gets old.)


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Hilarious or Insensitive?

OK, so I have a very serious question for you dearest internet and I’d like you to be honest. So, my apartment is being inspected any time from Tuesday to Friday (they are worse than the cable company) and I need to find a place to stash my cat. ((What kind of apartment charges an extra $50 a month to keep an adorable cat inside?)) Of course to avoid the charge I dropped him off at my parents in the day. Here’s the question: would it be hilarious or insensitive to compare my plight this week to that of those in WWII? As in creating a satire with my cat in the role of Anne Frank and my apartment managers in the role of the Nazi’s.

I know my humor leans towards the insensitive but also the hilarious so which is it people? Hilarious or Insensitive? is the tale of one woman who thinks it would be funny to write a story from the perspective of Anne Frank as her cat hiding from the Nazi’s of the apartment complex because she doesn’t want to pay extra each month but then realizes that not everyone will find it as funny as she does so instead asks the opinion of the internet all the while still sharing her hilarious idea under the guise of a hypothetical.

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Post Birthday Recovery Blog

 Rejected Book Plots decided to let this blogger have a recovery day from celebrating her birthday and is blessing you with a guest blogger. Ladies and gentleman, kids and kittens without further ado: Holden.

 

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Do Only Black Cats Talk?

Here’s the thing, can only black cats talk? Cartoons are a different story but every talking cat I’ve seen in real life (read: on TV) is black.

Example:

 Cat from Hocus Pocus= Black

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Salem from Sabrina The Teenage Witch= Black

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Even Paw Paw from The Future is black.

 

 

 

 

I fear my cat will never speak because of the color of his fur. And if my cat can’t speak due to the color of his fur then what has America become?!? This is not the America my grandfather and his father before him dreamt of when founding this great nation. So it’s time to speak out for cats of all colors! It is time to change this country and open the eyes of the ignorant to cat racism.

Do Only Black Cats Talk? is the story of one woman who took to the streets in support of cats everywhere. Will her efforts be in vain? Will all this drama she brings on herself be enough to make her cat speak out in protest of her protest?

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Holden

The thing you don’t know about Holden is that he is the first cat superhero. I don’t want to make y’all jealous here, but my cat is pretty much why they had to invent the phrase “the cat’s meow”. Now, I’m not one of those crazy cat owners (I only have one and have only put him in an outfit once) ((It was Christmas)) (((It was just a hat and he was SUPER cute))) ((((see:)))) He can be a little camera shy in the absolutely adorable way as you can clearly see. He doesn’t want a lot of people to know his true superhero identity. Only, I wasn’t as careful and I got us into some pretty hot water. For years the Evil League of Evil has been searching for Holden to finally put an end to all of his superhero amazingness! A glass of wine and a Facebook photo later, I accidentally told the world where to find Holden.

The next day, after the Evil League of Evil found out Holden’s true identity, I was captured and held for ransom and it was up to Holden to find a way out. Can Holden find me and save the day again? Or will he use up his nine lives trying? Part one in this edge of your seat trilogy- this is a story you won’t want to miss!

Holden is the children’s tale of how one cat was a little more extraordinary than the rest and the lengths he goes to saves the one he loves most.

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We Both Live Here and I’m Doing All The Work: An Open Letter To My Cat

Dear Holden,

First of all, you are super adorable that is not up for dispute.

This is you: you fell asleep but not before grabbing my hand in your paw…ADORABLE

However, you sit around all day while I’m at work and when I come home I expect things to be cleaned up a little. At the VERY least you could start dinner. I don’t think it is too much to ask that you pull your weight around here. When I’m cleaning the house, don’t just sit on your moose rug, pick up a rag. Hell, your fur is better than a Swifter- how about a little light dusting? It has been a year, you’re no longer a kitty and it is time to start contributing to this household. I’m really hoping I won’t have to withhold catnip, but I WILL!

Think long and hard about this and we will revisit this issue next week. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

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