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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Hotel Número Uno

What can I tell you about Joshua Jacobson you don’t already know? Yes, in 1812 he owned half of the Eastern seaboard. Yes, he had twenty wives in his lifetime that all mysteriously disappeared just as another was arriving. Yes, he was richer than the entire colonies combined. He was also the first douche to say, “sure you can crash on my couch, that’ll be $12 a night and I need you out by 11am.” and just like that hotels were born. No longer were good samaritans offering relatives or passing wanderers a warm meal and soft place to lay their heads. With this new precedent everyone decided to value their home and time by charging people to take refuge in their abode; a decision that has since been regarded as selfish with a hint of entrepreneurship spirit (which, according to legend is what haunts the Jacobson estate and late at night when the wind is low through the trees some say you can hear old man Jacobson whisper about turn down service and comment cards).

Hotel Número Uno is the gripping tale of how one man worked the system and got even richer by thinking outside of the box and taking advantage of the kindness of strangers. See how Joshua shaped the way America works even today. Do you think Paris Hilton would be where is she if it weren’t for Joshua’s stick-to-it-ness? She probably would have only had one season of The Simple Life and who really suffers there? America. Uh oh, what happens when old man Tax Break comes into the picture? So much happens in this book you’ll wonder how it wasn’t broken up into several books over several years in order to maximize profit and the interest of its readers. You know, that’s a really good point. STOP THE PRESSES!!

Just kidding.
Coming: February 2012

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