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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Juno: The Original Teen Mom (But Like An Ironic Version)

Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah… I mean, I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Turns out their were a lot more shenanigans Juno could get into with that bun in the oven. When Juno knew she was fertilized down under and trying to find a way to tell Paulie that whilst she wasn’t keeping the fetus she was totes into him, she knew the perfect way to tell that high school crush was with his favorite one calorie breath mint. Only problem was: in a small town such as this, where wanna be parents put ads in the Penny Savor, orange Tic Tacs aren’t exactly easy to come by.

Join Juno and her bestie Leah as they drive from 7-11 to 7-11 looking for Tic Tacs to stuff in Bleekers mailbox that will explain her undying love for the cheese to her macaroni in the indie way only a former stripper could write. What kind of things can a preggo and her BFF with a shotty van get into? What CAN’T they get into?

Will Juno find enough Tic Tacs to express her love and sorrow for getting herself and Bleek into the situation they were in being the school’s cautionary whale? Well, yes of course she does. But without this companion guide to the hit movie you won’t get to see Rainn Wilson as the snarky convenience store clerk say more things about Etch-A-Sketch.

Juno: The Original Teen Mom (But Like An Ironic Version) is the story of one girl no one thought would get pregnant especially by that one guy and it turns out although she was pretending not to be totes in love with him she was and realized it by the end before it was too late. Also, where can I get that Slinky shirt?!?

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