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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

My Inappropriate Love Letter To Zach Braff

 Dear Zach,

This isn’t Guy Love and I’m not in some [Garden] State of denial here, I want you to be my Last Kiss (but without that whole cheating on me thing). Look, I know you have a girlfriend but with The High Cost of Living it seems only fair I tell you how I feel and maybe it can work out and then we can split the cable bill or something. Just let me be the one to tell The Ex, he is always claiming that the sky is falling- such a Chicken Little that one. I’m not sure I’m conveying how deep my love for you runs, I would go as far as OZ to see the wizard for your heart. I would wear Scrubs every day so no other man would ever look at me unless it were to seek medical attention to be your one and only. All I’m saying is I want to explore the infinite abyss…of your penis. WHOA! Was that too far? I knew it the second I said it. Anywho, think it over. Put on some Shins (they’ll change your life) and let me know.

Inappropriately (without actually knowing you but rather the people you portray on TV and in the movies) yours,



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