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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

My Grandmother, the Recovering Alcoholic, Watching an Episode of Cheers

 From the team that brought you such best sellers as My Grandmother, the Ex-Neuro Surgeon, Watching an Episode of Grey’s Anatomy and My Grandmother, the Vampire Killer, Watching an Episode of True Blood comes the weirdly preachy tale My Grandmother, the Recovering Alcoholic, Watching an Episode of Cheers.

 Sit next to me, honey. What are we watching? What is this Cheers about? It’s about a bar?!? AND people sleeping with each other? Let me tell you, if you go to a bar and everybody knows your name, you have a problem. I was talking to this one guy at AA this morning and he sold his daughter’s lunch on her first day of school to get a beer. It was a PRB too, so you know he has a problem. This is what happens when you have a place where people are all the same and everyone knows your name. You’ll end up tattooing your body with different ads and showing your breasts to get enough cash to buy the next round. You wouldn’t be the first in this family so if you want to remain “nothing like this lowlife crazytown of a gene pool” then you will steer clear of this kind of life. Wait, who is that guy? Sam? He owns the bar? Well I’d frequent that establishment as well. The establishment in his pants. Don’t you “grandmother, please” me. A woman has needs.

 

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