July 12, 2011 Rejected Book Plot #103
Sam Begs to Be Taken Home: A Modern Love Story
Yes, it is me- your friendly neighborhood Samsung High Effieciency Steam Washer Model: WF431ABW/XAA, but you can just call me Sam. What’s with the hesitation? Are 13 different wash cycles not enough? Do you not enjoy my automatic temperature control that adjusts depending on the fabric? Is my PowerFoam and Pure Cycle technologies to provide effective cleaning too much for you? I’m not asking to be your one and only but please stop teasing me. This is the third time you’ve come to visit, praising your love for me but yet here I sit. Are you afraid to depend on something again? I would literally never walk out on you like that no good husband of yours. In fact, with my delay wash cycle- I work for you! You can keep me at an arms length for 24 hours to complete other tasks, can your dishwasher do that for you? I’m not naive, I know in this modern society that I won’t be your only appliance but I can be your best! Hope to be installed in your laundry room or garage or closet very soon.
(Not so) Secretly yours (After 24 easy payments of $55),
Coming soon, the sequel to the smashingly successful story Sam Begs to Be Taken Home: A Modern Love Story-
Sam Goes Home Only to Complain About Always Cleaning Up After You: A Really Modern Love Story