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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

Glitch in the Matrix: Pregnant Edition

As a latchkey kid of the 80’s and 90’s television and movies did most of the upbringing for Helen. Which explains a lot about why when one of her tables asks for more iced tea (She works at a 50’s themed diner) she always responds with “As You Wiiiiiiiiiiiish” like she were Wesley rolling down thehill  () .

Or whenever one of her friends would try to leave and she didn’t want them to she would go all Adventures in Babysitting on them and make them sing the blues. (Nobody ain’t leaving here without singing the blues)

Bobby, her boyfriend of the last year, could handle all that. He didn’t mind nearly every conversation they’ve ever had has been scripted by a movie or that she actually cried when he told her he preferred the first Back to the Future to the other two (Part Two has and will always be Helen’s favorite. She will cut you if you say otherwise). The thing he couldn’t look past was when anything slightly off would happen Helen would insist it was just a glitch in the Matrix. Twice in the last month Helen has seen a stork. Not like a metaphorical stork but an honest to God, baby carrying stork! Only, Helen insists that this is like seeing a black cat or having déjà vu and it is without a doubt a glitch in the Matrix.

The thing Helen doesn’t realize is that she is two months pregnant. Will Bobby be able to convince her that this is in fact real life and not a glitch? Will their child be as bat shit crazy as its mother? Will Helen watch Knocked Up or Baby Mama to prepare for this joyous occasion? There is only one way to find out: take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

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