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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

We Both Live Here and I’m Doing All The Work: An Open Letter To My Cat

Dear Holden,

First of all, you are super adorable that is not up for dispute.

This is you: you fell asleep but not before grabbing my hand in your paw…ADORABLE

However, you sit around all day while I’m at work and when I come home I expect things to be cleaned up a little. At the VERY least you could start dinner. I don’t think it is too much to ask that you pull your weight around here. When I’m cleaning the house, don’t just sit on your moose rug, pick up a rag. Hell, your fur is better than a Swifter- how about a little light dusting? It has been a year, you’re no longer a kitty and it is time to start contributing to this household. I’m really hoping I won’t have to withhold catnip, but I WILL!

Think long and hard about this and we will revisit this issue next week. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.


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