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Rejected Book Plots

Not every book can be the next Twilight

The Candy Man Can’t

“Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it in dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two? The Candyman can.” It is precisely this kind of thinking that has led the obesity charge in America. Kids everywhere are turning more into Augustus Gloop rather than Charlie Bucket. I’m not saying all kids should be on the verge of destitute but a few nights without dinner couldn’t hurt. Don’t they have mirrors or shame?

Kids are all chocolate this, lol candy that. Blah Blah Butterfinger Blah. IT IS AN OUTRAGE!!

Join Dr. Buzzkill* in Part 1 of his 40 part series on how movies have brainwashed** today’s youth into being fat.***

*Dr. Buzzkill is not a real doctor

**There is no concrete proof of any brainwashing

***Fat being a relative term

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