April 2, 2011 Rejected Book Plot #1
Always pre-approved, never approved.
Tim was a man who always looked good on paper- steady job, nice car, he was even what his mother had read about and publicly declared to the neighbors “a metrosexual like that Ryan Seacrest fella”. Yet, as with the daily credit card offers that promised instant approval he never seemed to make any relationship stick without an interest rate lower than 22%. Maybe it was his collection of vintage Pogs or his inability to wear anything but the color blue. Some might go so far as to say it was the fact he pronounces pillow “pelloh” regardless of the reason, Tim felt like he would never find his other half. That is because the night before he was supposed to meet her, she got stung by a bee and died. (The universe was unaware of her aversion to bees which is something you’d think it should have known.) Tim would spend his entire life searching for someone who couldn’t handle her honey.
Weirdly, at the time of this posting, Random House has declined the opportunity to purchase the rights to this idea and develop it into a hit franchise.